Author Archives: jcollier

Sam: Daddy my day of the week panties outgrew me. Me: They outgrew you? Sam: Yeah, I tried to put them on but I heard snapping so they outgrew me.

Sam was already up and watching TV the other morning when I got up. Note that this has only happened once before on a school day. Usually it’s a battle to get her out of bed. Me: What are you … Continue reading →

Sam: Daddy, if someone ever tries to take me then you need to call the police so they can come and take ’em out.

Sam: Can I have some cheese? Me: Do you know how to say cheese in Spanish? Sam: No. Me: Queso. Sam: Like suitcase? Me: Except case in English is C-A-S-E and queso in Spanish is Q-U-E-S-O. Sam: I know (she … Continue reading →

Sam: I wish I could drive. Me: Why? Sam: So I could control all the windows.

Uncle Jared: So why is Brooks going to marry you? Does he like being told what to do? Sam: No. I think it’s because I’m cute.

One evening when Momma was working late, I made Sam some fishsticks and green beans. Apparently I did it wrong. Sam: Why did you cut my fishsticks in half? Me: I thought it would be easier for you to eat. … Continue reading →

Sam was about 2 and I had her standing on the vanity in the bathroom. She blurted out the following with no prompting. Sam: Yucky boys, go Cardinals, boo Cubs. I think I shed a little tear.

Sam: Am I four and three quarters? Me: Yes. Sam: Dylan says there’s no such thing as four and three quarters. Me: Well, Dylan is wrong. Sam: Yes! I love being right.

Me: Sam, did you play with Brooks this weekend? Sam: Yes. Me: Did you tell him what to do? Sam: No, I didn’t marry him yet!