Funny Things My Kid Says

Sam: Daddy it’s a good thing we have Neosporin at home.
Me: Why?
Sam: Because it heals cuts two days faster than store brands!

The song “Roxanne” was on the radio in the car today.

Sam: We saw this song in Hawaii.
Me: We did?
Sam: Yeah we saw lots of rock sand there. Some of it was even red.

As we were leaving Tae Kwan Do the other day, another father asked Sam if she wanted a brother or sister.

Sam: No, my momma is too old.

Usually in the mornings I get up, turn on Sam’s light and then I use the bathroom before going in to actually wake her up. Today she got up after I turned on the light and walked in on me while I was using the bathroom.

Sam: Daddy.
Me: How many times have I told you not to walk in on people using the bathroom?
Sam: You have a water gun for a coochie.

Sam: I want to have pixie stix every day for dinner.
Me: [Chuckle]
Sam: I’m serious. I want one every day.

[Note: She gave up pixie stix for Lent]

We were listening to The Beatles (of course) and All You Need is Love was on.

Sam: Daddy this song is about Saints.
Me: Huh?
Sam: Saints are all about love. If you want to be a saint, you have to be all about love and give all of your stuff away. But not my stuff.

We went to O’Charley’s to eat, which we do relatively often.

Mom: Sam, do you want the same thing you always get?
Sam: I don’t always get the same thing.
Mom: Then what do you want?
Sam: The usual.

Sam recently got an mp3 player from her uncle Jared. Of course, we put all the Beatles albums on it that we have. On the way home from school today Bohemian Rhapsody was on the radio. Keep in mind, she’s only 6.

Me: Do you want me to put Queen on your mp3 player?
Sam: No, I don’t like Queen.
Me: You like “Another One Bites the Dust”.
Sam: I like that one you can put it on. You can put some Heart on too. And maybe some Pink Floyd.

Sam spent the night with her best friend Megan. The next day I asked if they slept on the same bed and she said they didn’t.

Me: Is Megan’s bed smaller than your bed?
Sam: No, mine is bigger.

Sam: Daddy, I see hair on your arms.
Me: Um. Ok.
Sam: We all have hair. We’re mammals.
Me: You are right. You know, some people have a disease that makes all of the hair on their bodies fall out. Arms, legs, head, all of it.
Sam: Momma doesn’t have that disease. I can tell. She has hair.